Two Great Examples of Humor for Innkeepers to Use
Written by Jay Karen on January 19, 2010 – 1:11 pmSo, it’s no secret that innkeepers get accused (fairly and unfairly) for posting too many little signs all over the B&B. Guests don’t necessarily like being told what to do and what not to do when they’re at a B&B, and yet innkeepers sometimes feel they need to leave not-so-subtle reminders about certain particulars. I totally get both sides of this reality. Some possible examples of little signs I’ve seen:
• Don’t put your luggage on this couch.
• Please don’t sit on the bed spread.
• Only flush appropriate items down the toilet (some signs have been more explicit about what not to flush).
• Please do not adjust the thermostat.
• Keep TV volume as low as possible, so you don’t disturb other guests.
In fact, one of the top five reasons people DON’T stay at B&Bs is that they perceive they’ll encounter too many rules and policies. With this in mind, I had a nice little chuckle the other day when I was sitting in a coffee shop in Haddonfield, NJ. I went to the restroom and noticed this little sign. Since the picture I took isn’t too clear, I’ll transcribe what it says (note – this was a unisex bathroom, in case you were wondering why I encountered such a sign):
FOR HEALTH & SAFETY REASONS, PLEASE DISPOSE OF FEMININE PRODUCTS IN THE BIN BELOW. THANK YOU!
P.S. If you flush your feminine products, we will be able to identify what time you left the bathroom and what time the bathroom flooded as a result of your inability to follow these instructions, and we’ll all know it was YOU. Your picture will be displayed on the “Bad Girl Wall of Shame” and you will no longer be permitted to go in this bathroom without supervision.
I love it! Now, this probably is a bit too crazy for an innkeeper to duplicate, but you should be inspired to have a little fun with the occasional sign –IF you feel it’s necessary to post. Try to be minimalistic with your sign posting. If you can get a chuckle out of your guests when they read what you’ve wrote, then you’ve probably brightened their experience, rather than made them feel as though they’re an imposition at your house. Try your hand at a little poetry or limerick that might elicit a smile.
For my second example of humor, I turn to the online review game innkeepers must and should play. On most online review sites you have the opportunity to leave a management response to a review. I’ve always contended (and continue to) that you should never leave a negative response out there alone – ALWAYS leave a response. But when you do, think twice about what you want to include in your response. Your response has the possibility to either win or lose business for you. Never turn it into a tit-for-tat defense.
When I encountered this management response at the British Columbia B&B Guild conference in October, I was elated! Thanks to Ian MacPhee at the Abbeymore Manor Bed and Breakfast Inn for bringing it to my attention and to Don Halton at the Albion Manor Bed and Breakfast for allowing me to share it with those in the industry. This is a great example of how a little humor can make a big difference.
“Not for me!”
Stayed in this B& B for 2 nights in June. The accommodation was very spacious and the hosts welcoming. It was situated close to the centre of town. Our only criticism was the formality and content of the ” gourmet ” breakfast, which did not suit us at all. Call me old fashioned, but I do not want apple crumble souffle with sausages for breakfast, while sitting with 10 people who are all unsure about when to start eating their breakfast ( should they wait until everyone has been served ? etc etc ). It makes for a very unnerving start to the day. BUT some people like this.
We would not return because of this, but some people will return for the same reasons.
Management response from Don Halton, owner
Holy smokes. It’s not very often that you have a guest who complains about being served a soufflé for breakfast. Mind you, if it had been one of our guests in our first year I probably would have understood. My Mom was quite a lady, but making breakfast, sometimes for as many as 20 people, is a skill that is learned, not one that you are born with. I remember once, in the early days of my soufflé making, baking the soufflés for over an hour. That particular one, a 3 cheese soufflé, is supposed to cook for about 25-30 minutes. For some reason, it wouldn’t rise and, in my innocence, I thought that if I just cooked it longer, it would eventually rise. Not so. Live, practice and learn. (We switched quickly to eggs benedict with smoked salmon instead.)
Then there was the time that, when making my grandmother’s breakfast cake I forgot to put in the baking soda. Guests loved it. That’s how ‘Spanish Biscotti’ was created!
So who would have thought that the cranberry custard soufflé would get such a panning (I checked back and this is the dish that we served to this guest and his partner). I modestly say that the vast majority of our guests appreciate having something special for breakfast, and this soufflé is, with one obvious exception, very well received.
As to the formality of the breakfast table, I can’t count the number of times that the laughter from the dining room has been so loud that I had to come out of the kitchen and bang a couple of pots together. Fernando, being from Spain, has a bit of trouble with the language. The accent doesn’t help much either. For the first year or so, he offered our guests ‘Scams, fresh from the oven’! You can read lots of other reviews from guests on our web site.
But, enough of what I have to say. In the end dear guest, you be the judge: come and join us for breakfast and decide for yourself.
When I read Don’s response, I thought, “I’d LOVE to stay at this B&B!” He made it sound like a really fun place to be, not to mention the creative-sounding breakfasts. Who wants to stay at a B&B after reading an awfully defensive management response to what might be a legitimate complaint?
If you have a little fun with some of the unfortunate realities you have to deal with, your guests might think it’s going to be a fun stay at your place.
Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments »
Jay Karen, President & CEO of the 
January 19, 2010 at 3:26 pm...
I truly enjoying reading your article. Mind you, when we were young kids we used to be told at summer camp that if anyone should dare pee in the pool our swimsuits should fade in the guilty spot because they’d added some special chemical to the chlorine (?!) and we believed it! Now, I’m a grown up woman and let me tell you too that when it comes to female pads disposing women tend to be really self conscious too because it’s hard to get rid of them in a ”nice”way-say they might have run out of paper towels to wrap them up in or so on so they end up throwing them into the toilet out of shame.
January 20, 2010 at 11:12 am...
I have been writing/speaking about the “sign” issue for years. First thing is to eliminate the need for signs whenever possible — i.e. better to glass-top an antique table then to nag guests about using coasters. Second is if you must use a sign, print it out on the computer and put it in an attractive frame; little “stickies” are taboo. Third is to emply humor, as suggested. Here are a few that I collected some years ago:
From the St. George Hotel, Volcano, CA
All us folks with septic tanks
Would like to give a word of thanks
For putting nothing in the pot
That isn’t guaranteed to rot.
Kleenex is bad, dental floss too
Feminine products are taboo
With your kind cooperation
We’ll keep our tank in operation
From a B&B in Sharbot Lake, Ontario
Kleenex, matches, pins and strings,
Q-tips and other things,
Country plumbing will reject
So, urbanite – be circumspect
It’s all a bother and a care
But – oh, my dear – so necessaire!
Inn at Shallow Creek Farm, Orland, CA
Our plumbing is can”tank”erous so please do not flush anything but toilet paper.
Hummingbird Inn, Goshen, VA
Our septic tank system has a rather delicate disposition. Since a septic upset in would give us all indigestion, we request that you help us keep it happy by refraining from flushing down the toilet any cloth, plastic or paper waste other than toilet tissue. Please use the bags we have provided for disposal of such items. Thank you!
January 20, 2010 at 6:48 pm...
Jay,
Enjoyed your piece on inn signage. My wife and I took an operations course before becoming innkeepers, and the instructor maintains 50 page instruction books in each guestroom. We go to the other extreme – we don’t even have room names on the doors!
Marty / Haverhill, NH
January 26, 2010 at 7:45 pm...
Ok, it’s not a B&B directive, but it IS a humorous sign.
My husband made me a sign (which he threatens to add to, Burma-shave-style) for the garden… which has been known to be neglected…
I planted the flowers
God added the weeds
Who am I to argue
with Divine Intervention?
Sandee Wright, “Inngineer”
Timberwolf Creek B&B
Maggie Valley NC
February 10, 2010 at 4:10 pm...
To our guests:
Here is one we have used for years, both at our former b&b and now in our rental cottage:
Like most rural dwellings, Ashwood Hill Cottage uses a septic tank for waste disposal. Since an upset in this system would give all of us indigestion, please help us keep it happy by refraining from flushing down the toilet any cloth, plastic or paper waste other than toilet tissue. Please use the bags we have provided for disposal of such items.
Thank you!
February 18, 2010 at 8:32 pm...
Thanks for the funny and thought provoking article. It was a good reminder of the many fine lines we all walk.
The management response about the souffle was funny but the review itself was very revealing. With all the mountains of information available on nearly every professionally run lodging choice out there, why would someone who didn’t like fancy breakfasts or eating them in a formal setting among other guests choose that place?
Frankly, I find most of these public reactions from overly picky, and quick to publicly punish a property type guests are coming from personality types that make many an innkeeper scratch one’s head about why on earth does this type of person choose a B&B type property to begin with?
This is a labor of love for the vast majority of us, but its troublesome to constantly host people that really have no business choosing a B&B as their lodging.
Entering our sixth year of operation we’ve come to the conclusion that some of this stuff is really in the no-win category for innkeepers. You keep it too casual and just toss guests their keys and they judge you for being vacant and not fully catering to their individual needs. You put up a few crucial informational signs or give a couple minute long verbal tour at check in and you’re perceived as hovering, oppressive and overly protective of your property.
I think there is a middle ground on most things and when traveling myself, I know it when I see it.
That is also the approach we try to take at our B&B.
When we first opened, we had zero little signs, check in took about 5 minutes and the list of guest caused issues and headaches our first several years was substantial because we assumed EVERYBODY was keen to etiquette, manners, respect of other’s space, property, desire for quiet, blah…blah…blah..
While still minimal on signs, rules and overt rigidity, we have adapted to the laws of human nature in order to protect the experience for all of our other guests, the property and us.
When this becomes a teeth gnashing experience for us too regularly to the point where we can’t overwhelmingly trust most if not all guests to do the right thing here or act appropriately most of the time is the when we can no longer provide the love and joy that is a signature characteristic of a stay at our place.
My take on signs in general is keep them minimal, small, professional looking by printing on computer with a nice layout, really friendly and stressing mutual respect, etc. They also should only be for subjects that if ignored could negatively impact other guest’s enjoyment or cause infrastructure problems like plumbing, life safety, etc..
On the other subjects of signs and septic systems. I’d be happy to not put signs funny or not in any rooms, if each and every guest agreed to sign a “damage responsibility” contract with us upon arrival. This would give them the choice to do as they please, but know that if they clog our plumbing, trash our rooms, linens, towels, ruin other guest’s stay with noisy, rude or inappropriate behavior (almost 100% of our problem guest issues involve excessive alcohol consumption) they’ll be financially liable.
I’m sure that idea would go over like a lead balloon with most of the traveling public.
Humorous signs aside, I certainly haven’t “gotten” the joke on the multiple occasions that we’ve had to absorb an expensive Roto-rooter bill with no available recourse from the guilty guest. Nor was it ever funny to inconvenience the other guests who did follow one of the few “rules” in place around here. It also has been hard to laugh about the stress and embarrassment of having our normally 99% smooth as silk operation go awry a few mornings because some female guests feel “shame” over what they were instructed to and are supposed to put in the trash.
With at least two rolls of toilet paper in every guest’s restroom, multiple boxes of kleenex combined with overtly helpful and approachable hosts one of whom is female herself, it amazes me to think some women would still feel entitled to do as they please in this regard and jeopardize the enjoyment of an entire B&B.
FWIW, I’m not sure feminine products do even large municipal sewer systems much good either, so maybe a large scale change in habits is in need. People are finally coming around on the danger of flushing old prescription drugs and chemicals, so maybe there is hope on this front too.